Tetherd Cow Ahead

Trendhunter is carrying a story about a fashion show that was recently staged by Diesel for their 2008 Spring/Summer Collection. They lead with the headline Holographic Fashion Show – Diesel’s Fashion Show Adds New Dimension and breathlessly claim (undoubtedly cribbing from the Diesel press release) that this it ‘the first time that holograms have been projected along a traditional catwalk’.

Dear oh dear. It looks like the Reverend is obliged once more to step into the fray with his Big Stick of Reason and bash a few heads with it.

The Claim: That this runway show is using some fancy-schmancy system to make holograms of digitally created underwater creatures swirl around and ‘interact’ with the models.

The Implication: That you will see fully realised holographic 3D images floating in ‘thin air’.

The Actuality: The system being used is a simple theatrical trick more than a century old, even if it does use some clever hi-tech riffs. It is not holography.

For starters, this isn’t even the first time that a fashion show has used this particular technique on the catwalk, so Diesel’s trumpeting of this great new idea is a tad overblown. Last year in August, an Alexander McQueen show conjured a ‘holographic’ Kate Moss as the finale to their fashion spectacular. It was done pretty much the same way as this effort, although on a smaller scale.

Here’s a vid of the Diesel presentation from YouTube. You only need to watch a bit of it to get the idea.

Now, I want to say at the outset that I don’t aim to diminish the achievements of the clever technical people and artists behind this show. The effect they have created is pretty cool, for what it actually is. Which is not anything to do with holograms.

The trick they are using here is a variation of an old stage illusion called Pepper’s Ghost. If you have been to Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion you have seen this effect in the Ghostly Ballroom.

There’s a very comprehensive explanation of the Pepper’s Ghost illusion at Wikipedia, but it’s an easy enough idea to understand. Have you ever stood in front of a window at night, and looked outside into the lit street and seen your reflection superimposed over the view? That’s how Pepper’s Ghost works.

In the classic method the audience in a theatre is looking through an angled piece of glass at a dimly-lit stage. The glass is unlit, and therefore completely invisible. In the wings of the stage is a blacked out area with lights that can be dimmed. An actor dressed in light-coloured clothing stands here waiting in the dark, and when the lights come up, the audience sees a full-sized transparent ghostly apparition in front of their eyes, apparently right on the stage (it is a reflection, in the glass, of the now illuminated off-stage actor). The actor can move within the confines of the off-stage black set, and even interact with onstage characters with some minimal preparatory choreography. If you don’t know what you’re seeing, it’s a pretty neat effect.*

The Diesel show isn’t using exactly this technique. My guess is that it exploits a combination of the Pepper’s Ghost principle and the use of a synchronised video projection system on screens below and right along each side of the stage.

This is how I think it works: look closely at the runway in the Diesel show. You can just see a hazy barrier that runs all the way along the stage between the audience and the models. I’m guessing that it’s some kind of glass, or perspex or possibly plastic film. Something clear and reflective. It would have been humungously expensive and a real bitch to set up. It’s angled from the floor at the side of the runway over the heads of the audience. The makers of the illusion boast that it’s the first time that this kind of illusion could be seen from both sides of the catwalk at once – that would be impossible using the conventional Pepper’s Ghost with just one piece of glass. I think therefore, that there are probably two reflection panes, and if you look even more carefully at the YouTube vid you can see a thin line at the top of the heads of the models that is probably the edge of the pane on the other side of the catwalk, conducting a little bit of internal reflection inside the glass. Note that this thin blue line is behind the models, and all the other images are in front of them. Having two panes of reflection would require two synchronous video projections, one on either side of the runway†. Because of the properties of this kind of reflection, the audience only sees an image on their own side, and not the one on the opposite side. Optically, the projected images would appear to be the same distance from the glass pane as the pane is from the projection screen. Probably in this case, the floating creatures would seem to occupy centre stage with the models.

The projection equipment and the screens are lower than the audience (maybe some of it is under the runway) and hidden by barriers that run all the way along the sides of the stage. The models can ‘interact’ with the images because they can in all likelihood see the projection screens down the right and left of the catwalk at their feet.

Here – I made a little animation that shows how it could be achieved:

The projected image is mostly likely corrected for the distortion of the slanted screens (unlike my example) and despite the claims of viZoo, who invented the technology‡, I don’t for a moment buy the idea that the image you are seeing is 3D. It might be a 2D projection of a rendered 3D object, but it is not 3 dimensional looking in the way that a real projected moving hologram would be (if you could actually do such a thing, which you can’t).

It’s a really, really clever piece of wizardry, for sure, but it isn’t done with holograms. And it reminds us that some of the best ideas are the very simplest.

Oh, and the clothes? No, I didn’t notice them either.

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*I once saw the technique used in a Star Trek show at Universal Studios where members of the audience were dematerialized in the Enterprise ‘transporter room’. It was a marvellous effect and I was so unprepared for it that I was completely flummoxed for a second or two.

†Or, perhaps, some kind of prismatic image splitter on each projector to make two identical images, one for each side.

‡And who, incidentally, never once claim on their site that their system creates holograms.

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Sir Elton John, international pop icon and fashion maven, has called for the internet to be shut down.

The Oddball Pinball Wizard bemoans the fact that the internet “stops people from going out and being with each other, creating stuff” and instead might allow them to make their own music at home. This is, apparently, a bad thing because it “doesn’t bode well for long-term artistic vision”.

Elton John joins a growing list of people who think that the internet is some kind of intellectual property communist plot and will ruin the arts, the media and just about everything else in which they have vested interest. Foremost among these is the laughable Andrew Keen. Keen, who has described the net as a “grand utopian movement” like “communist society” and recently penned the whining Cult of the Amateur, is, however, very happy to use the net to promote his views through his blog and his podcasts.*

Elton sobs out his fear that there will be no more great art if that intertube thingy is allowed to continue unhampered:

“We’re talking about things that are going to change the world and change the way people listen to music and that’s not going to happen with people blogging on the internet.”

So there you have it you lazy bunch of no-hopers! What are you doing sitting around reading this. Go out an create a pre-internet work of genius!

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*You will note that in contrast to my usual method here on The Cow, I have not hot-linked any of Keen’s net presence instances or works, other than an information link to Wikipedia (a site which Keen detests, predictably enough). I consider him to be a major hypocrite, an elitist and worst of all in my opinion, an old-fashioned bore.

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About a year ago here on The Cow we had cause to examine the Irish company Steorn and their announcement of the discovery of a remarkable way of creating unlimited amounts ‘free energy’.

As you may remember, Steorn was challenging scientists to disprove their claim that the laws of physics are entirely wrong and promising that you’d never ever have to put your mobile phone on charge again.

Well, Steorn are still chugging along (powered by some kind of energy – mostly produced by hot air I’m guessing) and have wheeled out a gadget to silence the naysayers once and for all! Catchily titled ‘Orbo’, early photos show that the machine looks like nothing so much as a few plastic pipes and some Meccano.

And guess what Cow Fans? They have a working model ready for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE! Well, actually, not so much. You see, Steorn recently announced that Orbo would be unveiled for public scrutiny at the London Kinetica Museum on July 4th. This event was to coincide with a simultaneous streaming on the Steorn site (presumably from somewhere deep withing the Steorn Free Energy Complex) of live video of a ‘simpler’ (their word) version of the machine ‘lifting a weight’. But, darn, golly gosh, just as everyone was tensing up for the complete re-writing of human history, a few problems seemed to have materialized out of nowhere and, well, they had to cancel the viewing and the web demo at the last moment. Colour me surprised.

It seems that heat from the lights in the room where Orbo was to be exhibited at Kinetica somehow interfered with its capacity to create unlimited energy, delicate little thing that it is. One hopes that the consumer model will be a little more robust if Steorn’s plans to roll out Orbo as part of their scheme to solve all the problems of Africa aren’t to appear a little dismal. It gets a little warm in Africa from time to time, or so I’m told.

It isn’t explained anywhere why the Kinetica ‘heat-from-the-lights’ setback should have had any material effect on the planned webcam stream but there you go.

It’s interesting to observe that Sean McCarthy has now come down unequivocally on the side of claiming to have disproved the Laws of Thermodynamics. He says as much on the Steorn site:

This is an extraordinary position to attempt to defend. I can’t even say it’s controversial – it’s BEYOND controversy.

Scanning through the Steorn website is a perplexing experience. It seems that these guys really do believe in what they’re doing. One is forced to contemplate the following possibilities:

1. They have rewritten the Laws of Physics as we know them.

2. A fairly large group of well-presented and reasonably intelligent people have somehow fooled themselves into believing Possibility #1.

3. They’re pulling our collective legs.

4. They are consummate swindlers, hoping to profit by pulling in the dollars from gullible suckers.

5. There’s something else going on.

Taken in order: Possibility #1 is by far the most unlikely of events. It is true that there have been occasional turbulent upheavals in scientific thinking, but very very few of those come entirely out of the blue without any indications at all from the prevailing body of scientific knowledge. To clarify, the principles that Steorn are suggesting they have discovered overshadow any other scientific revolution you can name. On the other hand, Steorn is in the company of almost countless numbers of people who have thought they had discovered such miracles.

Which brings us to Possibility #2. I guess it is feasible, but I find it hard to believe that none of these people are aware that they are the latest in a very long line of people to have made such claims to their detriment. But I never underestimate the capacity of human beings to comprehensively delude themselves if the conditions are favourable.

Possibility #3: If it’s a joke they’ve dragged it on for an awfully long time, and we all know the secret of good humour – it’s in the timing.

Possibility #4: Where I’m placing my money. Although there’s one further possibility that hadn’t occurred to me until recently…

Which is Possibility #5. Something else. It came to my attention on Tech Blorge last week that the whole Steorn thing might actually be something other than what it seems, specifically, some kind of viral marketing test or information dissemination experiment. The favourite in this field would appear to be a viral for Halo 3, but in my opinion that seems unlikely. It just doesn’t feel right. But there is definitely something fishy about the Steorn site – as the Tech Blorge guys say, it looks more like it’s been put up by some slick advertising types than the usual free energy type of nitwit. It is feasible that Steorn is wheeling in a Trojan Horse.

Are they idiots? Are they conmen? Are they having a jolly old time running everyone around in circles?

Sean McCarthy seems happy to grasp the bull by the horns:

Yes Sean. You’ve done everything EXCEPT actually demonstrate that your idea works. Really. If your machine does what you say IT’S A SPECTACULAR RESULT. It’s not a maybe-it-does-maybe-it-doesn’t kinda scenario surely? Show us the money Steorn, that’s ALL you have to do!

UPDATE: This video on YouTube clinches it for me – they are swindlers. This is the most nonsensical piece of rubbish and misdirection I’ve seen in a long time. Wait till the bit where Sean says “…and that’s the science!” and consider what’s gone before. That’s the science? Sean, that was a humungously cretinous piece of waffle. That’s not science by a long shot.

That’s snake oil.

Well ladies, I know that ever since jedimacfan mentioned it the other day, you’ve been wondering how Cowlexâ„¢ has been progressing with their new model, the Tesla.

I’m pleased to say that all is going well, and it’s due out in the shops any day now. Cowlex is very excited about their new product. Here, let me quote from their press release:

It’s Electrifying!

Cowlexâ„¢ Industries is proud to announce their new Pleasure Product The Tesla. This elegant adult toy is lovingly crafted from the very highest quality titanium and molybdenum alloy and is guaranteed to put the sparks back into any relationship.

Turn your static love-life into a static love-life with The Tesla, and feel that old electricity again!

Not recommended for use in the bath. Batteries not included. May interfere with communications and avionic devices.

What our preview audience is saying:

☆“Ohm my God!!!” ~ Sister Veronica

☆“This has a lot of potential!” ~ Electrician’s Weekly

☆“I like it!” ~ The False Maria

☆“The best current sex toy!” ~ Fleshbutt

☆“Ow. Do it again!” ~ BDSM Review

☆“Forget the coil, get The Tesla!” ~ Wanda from Nantucket

Since the last post seemed to cause so much puzzlement, and numerous alternative suggestions for the mad scientist’s comment, I’ve decided that you guys need a chance.

OK Acowlytes – have at it!

Boingboing ran a snippet a day or so back about ‘Mr Lee’ the German cat whose owner has equipped him with a camera to record his feline adventures. The ‘Cat Cam’ is fastened around Mr Lee’s neck, and a timing circuit snaps shots at regular intervals.

It is fascinating to see what Mr Lee gets up to in the course of his catty day. Tour #1 has him encountering a bird feeder, several other catty denizens of the area, and even snapping a couple of ‘art’ shots.

After scanning through Mr Lee’s Cat Cam site, the obvious thought occurred to me to try and do the same thing with The Spawn! (Yes, I can hear you all screaming ‘You must be mad! Don’t you want to keep your remaining fingers??!!’)

So, over the weekend I dug out a little Sony Cyber Shot that I was using a little while back in some Kite Aerial Photography experiments and charged up its battery… w00t! still working!

The electronics for the camera had previously been wired to be triggered remotely for the aerial shots so it was pretty easy to re-jig them to work with a little timer chip.

A little bit of trial-and-error and it seemed to work pretty well, and after some ‘cat-proofing’ with an old cellphone case and some gaffer tape, I tied The Spawn down and fitted the GlitchCamâ„¢…

Hmm. Not terribly impressed, but tolerating the humiliation for the moment.

I let him walk around the house for a bit to make sure that the cam was secure and that the timer was working properly. After a little bit of head shaking and scratching he seemed to get used to the GlitchCamâ„¢, so I let him outside.

Off you go little fella! Let’s see what happens in your catty existence!

(Click on the image to start the tour. Type ‘N’ for Next or ‘P’ for Previous, or use the on-screen navigation.)