It has come to my attention that my readership numbers might be handicapped owing to the fact that I am not a cute twenty-year-old chicky-babe with a MySpace profile and nothing to say.

Now this may appear to be something of an obstacle for a forty-eight-year-old bloke who likes to shoot the breeze about the big topics like religion, science, net politics and accurate spelling, but as the Reverend of The Church of the Tetherd Cow I am ever-mindful that The Cow moves in mysterious ways.

Indeed, even as I was despairing that I may never see the likes of three or four hundred MySpace friends filling my life with inane platitudes and incomprehensible teenspeak, there was a knocking at the cloister door, and a destitute creature with no worldly possessions other than the clothes on her back stumbled in from the driving rain. As I towelled the poor wretch dry in front of the abbey fireplace, I knew that the solution to my increasingly barren Comment pages had been sent to me via a Divine Miracle.

Sister Veronica

So, faithful Acowlytes, let me introduce to you Sister Veronica* who will be popping by from time to time in order to help me make an unashamed grab for increased visitor numbers.

You can even write to her, for advice on personal matters or astrology, a field in which she tells me she is an expert.

*Sister Veronica’s likeness appears courtesy of Scumbag Russian Spammersâ„¢ and Photoshop