This just in:

From: Jesus Dawkins
Subject: Classy watches for people from any economic class.
Date: 28 May 2009 1:59:12 PM

The only thing that differs our fantastic watches and brand watches is the price. Instead of having one timepiece you can have five or ten. Who would reject such an offer?

Putting on our semiotic hats we can read the real message beneath the subtext here: Jesus Dawkins is surely the Antichrist offspring of God and Richard Dawkins, so this message can’t be anything other than a sign that we should watch for the End Times.