Drown me in a butt of malmsey! Today, even MORE correspondence from Peter Popoff! This time another MILLION pages of mind-fogging writings and underlinings. And pictures of Prophet Pete. And promises of uncountable fortunes. And dire warnings. And prophecies. And stickers with leaves on them.

I will not bore you much further with any of this (unless he remembers to send me my “bag” of Dead Sea Salt – that’s surely worth a picture), except to say that scanning down the letter I notice that this time he is promising to have included money in this installment. Yes, MONEY!

Oh happy happy joy joy! MONEY! I search through the forest of foolscap pages and find:

Popoff Money

That stuff in the little “bag” on the left is supposed to be the money. It is shredded. And according to the instructions I’m supposed to burn the money with the teeny candle and do something with the resulting ashes (oh, really WHO CARES…?)

If you look very closely you can see that the ‘money’ is really only printed on one side. Just like Peter Popoff, it’s fake.

On the Good News side, I now have THREE reply-paid envelopes. You can bet Prophet Pete is going to be hearing from me real soon.