Mister Ffoeg

Today, Mister Ffoeg wrote to Sister Veronica, enclosing a picture of himself (above) and the following missive:

From: misterffoeg@hotmail.com
Subject: ever seen a real halo?
Date: 27 March 2009 2:39:03 AM
To: sisterveronica@tetherdcow.com

the photo is not edited at all. i saved it at lowest quality in hopes of merely pixelating it and sure enough (i was on a weird kick at the time) i was manifesting this halo. it tastes great and it’s less filling.

I make the following observations:

•‘Ffoeg’ is ‘Geoff’ backwards. That’s pretty lame.

•Mr Ffoeg implies that Sister Veronica’s halo is not real. That’s impolite.

•Mr Ffoeg evidently ate his halo. That’s bizarre.

•Mr Ffoeg believes his halo is tasty and ‘less filling’. Less filling than what? A plate of cheese fries? Walkabout Soup? The Zero? That’s far fetched.

•Mr Ffoeg, despite being completely off his face on halo-juice, is able to correctly punctuate his emails (despite having no Shift key on his computer). That’s suspicious.

Make of all this what you will. Sister Veronica just looked at the email and said:


By the tone of her voice, I assume that’s not meant to be a compliment. Please feel free to write to Mr Ffoeg and ask him further questions about the nutritional value (or just plain tastiness) of haloes. Perhaps he has recipes, and/or serving suggestions!*


*Y’know, when I was a kid, I always thought ‘serving suggestion’ meant ‘add strawberries’. That’s because I only ever saw those words each morning on the Cornflakes packet, as I munched away at my breakfast.