Tetherd Cow Ahead

This just in from NASA:

On August 1st, almost the entire Earth-facing side of the sun erupted in a tumult of activity. There was a C3-class solar flare, a solar tsunami, multiple filaments of magnetism lifting off the stellar surface, large-scale shaking of the solar corona, radio bursts, a coronal mass ejection and more.

The solar flare has spawned a coronal mass ejection heading in Earth’s direction due to hit about the time you read this. Everybody duck.

Hey! Remember how I told you about the Thrilling Space Adventure competition over at Bearskin Rug? I actually won a blue ribbon! I am totally chuffed – my very first attempt at a cartoony-like comic and someone who is a genius at such things thought it was worthy of a prize. And I didn’t even have to send him a bribe or anything!

Here’s my winning entry. It’s a truly Thrilling Space Adventure.

What’s even better I won a prize – a signed copy of The Superest book. And, along with Kevin’s signature, it has hand-drawn pictures of Mojo.

I am so happy.

Go to Bearskin Rug now and buy stuff.

Kevin over at Bearskin Rug has invited all & sundry to draw their own Thrilling Space Adventure – and quite impetuously I think – has given away the secrets of his trade to show you how to do it! If you click on the panel above you will see the full extent one of my own personal attempts at being a humorous illustrator/cartoonist type person. I’m nowhere near as clever as Kevin, but I made myself laugh and that’s all that counts. Surely.

This last week it has been my very great privilege to have experienced two extraordinarily moving works of art. The first was Bill Viola‘s heart-wrenching ‘Ocean Without a Shore’, a new permanent acquisition of the National Gallery of Victoria. Sadly, it is a large installation piece which you must visit in person to fully embrace. The next time you come to Melbourne, I’ll take you there.

The second is a little more modest but just as poignant, and was created by some dude who goes by the name of Colorpulse (and Melody Sheep). I am proud to be able to share it with you here on The Cow.

If ever anyone had any doubts that copylefting can create truly moving experiences and must be allowed and encouraged as a valid form of expression, let this wonderful observation serve as an example.

The surface of the Earth
Is the shore of the cosmic ocean
Recently we’ve waded a little way out
And the water seems inviting

Carl Sagan, we miss you.

Acowlytes! I have some amazing news to bring you!

According to American astronomers at the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics, a white dwarf star in the constellation of Centaurus, next to the Southern Cross, has been found to contain a 3000-kilometre-wide toilet into which you can throw all your money!

Well, that’s not exactly the way they put it on a site I just found called Space Diamond – I’ve just fixed it so it’s closer to the truth.

What the people at Space Diamond actually want you to believe is that the white dwarf in Centaurus contains a GIANT DIAMOND[tippy title=”*”]It actually might, believe it or not. But that’s entirely beside the point.[/tippy] and if you send them some money for a ‘Space Diamond Gift Certificate’, you will be entitled to… well… to a gift certificate. That’s right Cowpokes, these people are selling NOTHING. OK, to be accurate, the certificate promises that it is ‘good’ for ‘the first carets harvest from space’. Hahahaha! The first carets harvested from a white dwarf star that is in a constellation five light years away from our own solar system! By my calculation, even if they sent up a spaceship with accredited jewellers right now, we’d all be well and truly dead before they got back.

With this in mind, I wrote to the smiling lady at Space Diamond’s ‘Customer Service’ department. I think I’ll call her Wanda. This is a picture of her:

Dear Space Diamond,

When do you anticipate the first diamond harvest will occur? Your offer seems almost too good to be true, and I don’t want to waste my money on something that is not scientifically feasible.

Yours sincerely

Reverend Anaglyph

I expect to hear from Wanda promptly with a detailed description of Space Diamond’s near light-speed propulsion system and their strategy for the penetration of the core of a massively dense star and the excavation thereof. I’m also curious to peruse their proposal for how they plan to get several trillion tons of diamond back here, and why doing so wouldn’t immediately cause diamonds to become as worthless as gravel.

Stay tuned.

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*It actually might, believe it or not. But that’s entirely beside the point.

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