Quaint

Spam Observations #24

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been getting an enormous influx of porn spam that I can make a good guess comes from some country where English is not the first language. The spam itself is unremarkable but the subject lines are suitably mirth inducing:

Subject: Group jolly Gay hardcore!

I dunno. This just paints a picture of a college afternoon of picnicking and punting on the Cam… “What ho, old chap, let’s have another glass of ginger beer and a game of Pass the Parcel!”

Subject: jolly Teens doing fine blowjob!

And again, a smashingly fun romp in the hedge maze. ‘Jolly’ is such an evocative word, don’t you think?

Subject: Young Sluts so tasteful and graceful!

Here, two qualities not usually attributed to sluts.

Subject: attractive Schoolgirls doing tasteful sucking.

I try very hard to imagine schoolgirls and ‘tasteful sucking’ but no matter which way I conjure it, I’m coming up with smut. Y’know, maybe they’re in a nicely decorated conservatory with billowing gauze curtains hiding the rude bits… still…

Subject: Dad fucking fascinating daughter!

Is ‘fascinating’ the right word here? Really? Maybe this is better:

Subject: Dad fucking goluptious daughter!

Or maybe not. ‘Goluptious’? They didn’t even use a dictionary for that one.

Then there is:

Subject: exquisite Woman doing radiant blowjob!

Now, I have quite a hankering to see this, because a radiant blowjob just sounds so spectacular. Done by a suitably exquisite woman, this might not be so bad.

And in a similar vein, it’s nice to see some long-overdue artistry coming into play in porn:

Subject: fine-looking Gay and innocent little esthetical pussies!

Esthetical pussies! I’m sure Plato would approve.

Last, but not least, the enigmatic:

Subject: refined incest Scenes!

Yep, there is incest, and then there is refined incest. A better class of incest for the connoisseur!

It all sounds so *quaint. Maybe I’m getting porn spam from the past from Victorian England?