On Angel Winds

This post is a very special one in that it marks the inaugural Fart Joke here on The Cow. I have an hypothesis that any artist, no matter what their chosen artform, no matter how lofty their philosophy, and no matter how impeccably high their standards, will eventually succumb to the lure of the Fart Joke. It is inevitable.

It may interest you to know that I did copious research for the creation of this illustration. Specifically, I searched far and wide for an appropriate cartoon depiction of a fart, and the corresponding noise. It is a surprisingly difficult thing to portray.

Of course, my first stopping point was Viz. If you want comicbook portrayals of bodily functions, Viz is always likely to come up with the goods. No disappointment here as far as fart humour is concerned, but sadly, nothing of the quite the right tonality for my farting Gabriel.

My quest then led me to a page about fart facts on an extraordinary site called SmellyPoop.Com which is not only comprehensive, but entertaining and highly informative. Here, I found the answers to questions such as: Do even movie stars fart? through Where do farts go when you hold them in? to Is it possible to get stoned after inhaling two or three farts in a row? and Can a man fart out of his genital opening? There is also a comprehensive list of euphemisms for farting, an even longer list of alternative terms for farting (fartrogen dioxide… air monkey… poofume…) and poems and limericks about farting. SmellyPoop.Com is a veritable fartucopia!

Alas, nothing at all about graphical cartoon depictions of brown body radiation and its accompanying audio effect, however.

After that it was nothing but sidetracks – combine the internet with farts and you’re set for a rainy day of truly intellectually-undemanding entertainment. I had to play England’s Most Farted House twice because I wasn’t entirely convinced it was a send-up, so convincing was the performance from the featured ‘psychic’. I got waylaid for half an hour at halfbakery.com (a site that encourages people to post up ‘half-baked’ ideas) reading proposals for a Rectal Karaoke Machine, a Fart Lamp and The Smellevator.

Then I discovered a MythBusters episode that was never screened for the general public in which Jamie and Adam, with the help of an extremely good-spirited Kari, address the myth that ‘Pretty Girls Don’t Fart’. (Busted, in case you didn’t guess).

But still no help with the cartoon sign language. And so it went.

In the end, I just had to go with my best instincts. I don’t know if the Annunciation works – I can’t tell. I showed it to Violet Towne and she laughed. But not until she’d scrutinized it for a minute or so. She didn’t think that ‘br-a-a-ap!’ quite did it, but after several alternatives agreed that it did seem the best fit.

So there you have it Cowmrades. Once again your visit to Tetherd Cow Ahead has made it well worth the subscription fee.*


*You didn’t think you were paying? Check your IQ. Same as when you first started reading? No? See!

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