A Picture of the Very Lonely Olga

Spam Observations #49

This morning I received a very touching letter from Rick Hadley, or perhaps from the very pretty, but evidently lonely, Olga. I wasn’t quite sure. Spammer Gender Confusion strikes again. At least Rick/Olga sent me a picture of “herself”.

Hi my friend!

I only wished to write to you the letter and to tell as in general my letter got to you! First I would like to speak a little about myself my name is Olga to me 29 years I live in Russia to Kirov. All the others wash data and a photo in the appendix to the letter data.

Olga, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. OK, I get that you live in Russia and you’re 29. But unless you’re trying to attract a geek with a laundry fetish, I’d lose the data washing. And even though I’m sure your appendix is as hot as the rest of you, a photo of it is something you might want to keep to yourself for a second date. With a surgeon.

I was in agency of acquaintance and to me advised yours e-mail the address I do not know whence they him took but they gave me yours e-mail that I could have acquaintance to you.

‘Whence’…? Nice. We do tend to mostly avoid it these days though. Personally, I like it and would happily see it make a comeback, but I think I’m in a small minority. I’m also partial to ‘heretofore’ and ‘wherewithal’ though they don’t get much of guernsey in day-to-day conversation either.

And I only wanted that you have spent about 10 minutes both looked wash a photo and wash data and received from you the answer you would like to have acquaintance to me or you only would not like this?

There we go with the washing again. If Olga is a bot, I think her data has been washed a few too many times.

Tell to me I so only the nobility it much would like. Also I shall wait much your answer.

Olga, I would very much like to oblige, but I am not at all sure what the question is…

I started to search the man as to me very alone and 29 years and I do not have man if you wish to begin with me correspondence or easier to begin acquaintance tell to me your answer. I shall wait much!

I hope your new friend well I hope that I can become for you friend Olga ! Can you send me you photo and story life on my e-mail

Olga encloses with her email a document with a strange name which I assume to be Russian for pleaseturnmypcintoaspamzombie.exe. Now, I don’t like to keep poor Olga waiting much, so, with the help of Babelfish, I’ve responded to her in her native language:

Дорогое Ольга,

Вы для вашей электронной почты. Я надеюсь что это находит вы наилучшим образом. Я нет на все уверенном чего вы значите запитком ваших данных, но оно звучает завораживающий. Я так люблю получить корреспонденцию от милых девушок в зарубежных странах. Какое обслуживание! Откуда, смогу я спросить вам, сделал вас найти мой адрес электронной почты? Я полюбил бы увидеть фотоснимок вашего приложения если вы имеете одно. Я буду держать его прикалывано к моему noticeboard для других насладиться. Вы никогда не знаете, один из моих одиночных мыжских друзей могло бродяжничать мимо и увидеть оно! Я надеюсь услышать от вас очень скоро.

Искренне ваш

Doesn’t that look convincing! This is how Babelfish says it should appear to her:

Dear Olga,

You for your electronic mail. I hope that this finds you in the best way. I no to entire confident of what you you mean by washing your data, but it is casting a spell. I so love to obtain correspondence from dear women in the foreign countries. What maintenance! From where, can I ask to you, he did make you to find my address of electronic mail? I would fall in love to see the photograph of your application if you have one. I will hold his to my of bulletin board for others to take pleasure. You never know, one of my single man friends it could wander by and see it! I hope to hear from you very soon.

Sincerely your
The Saint

I hope she doesn’t keep me waiting much with her reply.