The Secret Key

Some Questions, Some Answers and Some Observations

Sally sent me this today, and I am forced to make the assumption that Sally is in cahoots with Fountain-In-The-City on account of the strikingly similar accomplishments in the field of graphic arts displayed in The Secret Key and The Prophetic Code (of which you will recall I have spoken previously).

Let us begin.

The Questions: (if you feel so inclined, read them out loud in a deep reverberant voice for full effect):

What is The Secret Key?

I don’t know, but judging by the picture it gets you into a room with retina-scorching bright light. I am not entirely sure why this would be desirable.

Did you see the Oprah Show about the Law of Attraction?

No. Unless it was the one where Tom Cruise went bananas jumping up and down on the couch. I’ve seen that one. Is that typical of the level of credibility of Oprah shows?

Have you seen the movies The Secret or What the Bleep?

No. But I am familiar with the kind of dopey pseudo-science claptrap they peddle. Does that help?

Some Observations:

OK, this is what I deduce from a semiotic reading of this image: The man in the picture is definitely in need of The Secret Key. At least, he really needs to get into the room with the all the Persil-level luminance since he’s evidently having a lot of trouble making out his Ancient Wisdom by the light of a solitary candle. The hourglass is telling me that he’s running out of time, and the globe of the world under his arm obviously indicates a trip to foreign climes, perhaps to join forces with Tom Cruise on one of L. Ron Hubbard’s old ships to look for hidden treasure. The thing in the top left of frame looks suspiciously like a mandrake root and from this I conclude he intends (once he has some decent lighting) to make an homonculus. He possibly intends the homonculus to be interviewed by Oprah.

Aha! The whole thing falls into place! It’s so frighteningly clear that I knew exactly what I would see when I clicked on the link!

Did you?