The Navy Gets the Gravy

In breaking news, the Australian Defence Force yesterday revealed that Australian Navy personnel were compelled to confront and repel members of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard in an altercation in the Persian Gulf in 2004.

The incident took place as the Aussies were investigating a grounded cargo vessel. Commodore Steve Gilbert revealed that the trouble began when the Iranians made some ‘very overt gestures’ and attempted to capture the Australian sailors.

Things could have turned very ugly, but then, according to the BBC, the armed Iranians smartly withdrew after the Australians demonstrated their military superiority by brandishing their machine guns and using some ‘highly colourful language’.

Thus, the shroud of secrecy surrounding the Australian Armed Forces’ most devastating new weapon is whisked aside for the world to see.

North Korea might be developing the Bomb; Iran may have chemical weapons; any number of contenders might be tooling up containers of anthrax and smallpox, but hear this n00bs: you are NO match for us Aussies when it comes to calling a spade a fucking shovel.