If you’re a purveyor of teh Woo looking to make yourself a few dollars at the expense of gullible people with damaged lives, what could be better than selling them water that does nothing, plastic cards that do nothing or plastic bracelets that do nothing?

Croation ‘mystic’ and healer, Braco, has discovered the answer to that question: you bypass the costly manufacture process entirely and sell 100% unadulterated nothing at all to your credulous victims .

This is how it works. Braco (pronounced ‘braht-zoh’) merely walks into a room full of people and stares(i) at them. To understand the true magnitude of the vacuousness of this, you might like to watch Braco in action:

This kind of thing just makes me want to throw up my hands in despair.(ii) Just take look at that audience of predominately white, affluent middle-aged women who probably owe everything they have to modern science, and wonder how it is that they have quite so comprehensively dropped their brains on the floor.

Braco’s website is a treasure-trove of idiocy and banality:

Experts are impressed that Braco has been able to have such a strong impact on his visitor, and began his work at the extraordinarily young age of 26

He began staring at people at the age of 26. Yep, that sounds like an extraordinary achievement. Why, I didn’t master the art of staring at things until last week!

Braco does not take any money for his help, he does not accept donations and the sessions are always free at his Center in Zagreb.

Can I have a job where I get flown all around the world and fêted at other peoples’ expense in exchange for doing nothing at all? Oh, and all those books and CDs I see advertised on the site. They’re free too, right?

“We all carry a seed inside, which can become a beautiful fruit one day.” – Braco.

I don’t know if I’ve ever heard anything quite so profound. I wonder if Braco came up with that all by himself, or if he has a team of writers?

Journalists and scientists who have studied Braco and his energy have been impressed by him and by the impact of his work

Braco’s website fails to give the names of any scientists so impressed. I think we can suppose that when they use the term ‘scientist’ they mean someone like ‘Doctor’ Charlene Werner or ‘Professor’ William Nelson. And as for journalists… yeah, they’re really known for their perspicacity.

Braco is a conduit for the Source energy that is not governed by linear time and space, and it instead unifies us beyond the constructs of the mind.

Or, to put it another way: ‘Baffling phrase appended to vacuous nonsense followed by equivocal waffling equals meaningless conclusion’.

And best of all, from the FAQ:

Children may be overburdened by the energy, so it is required that an individual be 18 years of age or over to attend a gazing session.

I wonder if they would explode?

Braco’s special thirteen-ray gold sun pendant (also sun earrings and rings) are ONLY available at live Braco events.

Oooh. I’d like one of those free pendants! They are free, right? ‘Cos, like, I know that Braco doesn’t make any money out of what he does… What’s that you say? $290??? But…

Braco himself does not explain the energy and the great healing and transformative effect this energy can have upon people.

It’s much easier that way. Provide a whole bunch of nothing at all and then avoid explaining why it works! The homeopathy crowd could really take a leaf from Braco’s book. All they need to do is dispense with all that tricky science stuff – things would be so much simpler!

Braco’s power is so strong that it can be lethal over the internet. Or something.



Whatever you do, don’t edit any of those Braco staring sequences into segments longer than seven seconds. Who knows what kind of chaos could be unleashed!

I leave you with this last fact from the Braco blog:

Special Travel Notice: Braco was officially granted an Extraordinary Talent Visa by the U.S. Immigration Department in October 2010. The approval of this specific Visa recognizes the importance of Braco’s work, and enables him to freely enter the U.S.A.

I want you to contemplate this deeply. The US Department of Immigration has given a highly sort-after ‘O’ class visa to some guy who does nothing more than stand on a stage and stare at the audience. That’s defined as an ‘extraordinary’ talent

Elsewhere, Braco’s power is explained as a phenomenon of ‘non local reality’. I think that’s another way of spelling ‘horse shit’.

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Footnotes:

  1. Or ‘gazes’, as his followers say… []
  2. Or just plain throw up. []

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