Thu 11 Mar 2010
Posted by anaglyph under Blogs I Like:, Competition!, Cow Matters
Easy to win, when you are unemployed, and single
Even easier when you have talent.
Now, who built that cupboard with five shelves? You or Joey? Because it looks like someone is very sure of himself…
I imagind my goblets in th warm embrace o Sistr Veronica.
Queen Willy: I may need to stick other stuff of Joey’s on there. He keeps littering the place up with all kinds o’ crap.
Joey: Sister Veronica is in charge of polishing them. If they should start to lack a little lustre, just let me know.
See – the shelf is filling up with junk already.
I’ll polish joey’s goblets if Sister Veronica is busy
Id like to say “Thank you” to them,
Whove calld me th crème de la crème.
But if I had a wife,
And a working man’s life,
I might be as dull as … (*a-hem*).
All I have is a “little plastic pirate figure” on mine…
“This Joe’s got one heckuva wit.
Them three cups are proof, let’s admit.
But let him get laid,
And once-a-week paid,
And he’d blog just like Malach — like SHIT.”
How many shekels gone inta th collecktion plate since ya put this post up, Revrend?
I gots a feelin maybe somone took a few OUTski.
oh, my apologies, I see that five shelves is barely enough.
Now I’m going to have to open a whole darn wing in Cow Central for Joey’s stuff…
Hey SMAWRT GUY! Make fun of my wife?
And my job, that is causing me strife?
You’re just jealous of me
Since for me it’s easy
To keep drawing these elephants from life!
Th fackt’s rathr hard to escape:
No elephants in this landscape.
But once, in Art class,
Wif a dangd looking-glass,
I drew me, from life, a dangd ape.
My life could have been rendered moot
If my mother had been more astute
In convincing my father
That he should have bothered
To slip on a dangd rubber suit.
What othrs need, I do without –
Bcause of my talent, no doubt.
Fer instance, I can
Post great coments sans
A clue what th dangd post’s about.
I came to this blog on a lark
And I’ve blessed it by leaving my mark
My comments lack sense
Because I’m fuckin’ dense
Which is why I wrote, “Sink the Bismarck!”
So now that Im finaly through
A-sketchin my photograph zoo,
Im off to th Cow
To have me, fer chow,
A over-ripe turnip or two.
I normally post comments that
Don’t make one bit of sense at all — SPLAT!
You need a design? Im yer guy!
I got me a traind artist’s eye!
To hire me, well …
Heres my dangd URL:
Oh, SHIT! Time fer Wapner! Goodbye!
That was REALY WRONG!
My amount of stupidity’s ample
As my comments are proven examples
Now if you’ll excuse me
I gotta go pee
And drop of my daily stool sample
“Do not, please, infer that Im gay,
Or perverse in any othr way;
But while I, on th whole,
Woudnt suck a man’s pole,
His kukri Id suck any day.”
I go around making my calls
Like a tard, bouncing off of the walls.
No poem, Anaglyph?
That makes me wonder if
Maybe you just do not have the balls.
Th Revrend is far too busy
To join us in this poetry.
A source has reveald
That hes out in th field,
A-plantin more turnips, you see.
The Rev’s planting turnips so soon?
But it’s March! Don’t he know? Friggin loon!
He’s out planting again
Like he can’t hold it in!
It’s as though Anaglyph ate some prunes!
There’s a fellow who’s missed all the fun
Through all of the contests I’ve run
He’s been busy with his knife
And his drawings from life.
Even so, he still managed to win one.
By th way, Revrend … now that youve publishd a subsequent postski, lemme sneak back here and express sincere thanks fer this little “send up.” I think our mutual friend has informd you of my plan to bow out this yearski, and th munth leadin up to th latest Rasputin gig and th munts followin it here at th Cow have been some o th best times Ive had bloggin. Im plannin to rveal my “endgame” in a coupla hours ovr at th JPS, and so am sorta leakin th story here at th Cow. Always want my best palskis “in th loopski.”
Thanks Joey. I will be very sorry to see you go, and I hope you find time to visit us even if you are bringing down the curtain on The JPS. Joey’s Shelf will remain here, prominently displayed in its new home, until The Cow goes out to pasture (which won’t be happening in the foreseeable future, I might add…)
HOW VERY NICE o you, Revrend!
Ill be addressin th mattr o my post-curtain presence in th blogassfear in my announcment; but I gotta say …
… seein all that shelf space makes me kinda wanna, yknow, fill it upski!
I’d better clean out some o’ that crap that Atlas put there then…
While you two have been making, I wrote an app for the iPad so you can use it to view your shelf, Joey.
Sorry, I Malach’d there for a moment.
It’s worth buying the iPad* for that alone.
*Jeez that’s a shit name.
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